Dear Royal Mail,

There has been a running joke in my house about the service you provide. As both myself and my partner work full time we are often not at home when the post arrives. We regularly come home to one of two scenarios: a huge pile of mail or nothing. “Ha ha it has been raining today, maybe they don’t deliver in bad weather” I would often jest.

Well I have been off work this week and it has been interesting and I thought this would be a good opportunity to share my experience with you. Monday: Heavy Rain and Wind – No post. Tuesday: Very Windy and Cold – No Post. Wednesday: Sun is out – f*%king great big pile of letters. Thursday: Raining on and off throughout the day – No Post. Today is Friday – it’s cold but the sun is out………. I’m expecting post Mr Postman.

Now, I’m not a scientist so any research I conduct cannot be deemed scientific or decisive. However, this week does suggest that either every single company, family member, charity, hospital and catalogue post their items on exactly the same day leading to them arriving together at my house (impressive) OR that my Postman believes he is in fact a famous supermodel and will only get out of bed in particular circumstances. If I lived in Africa I could probably accept the postman not delivering in the rain, wind or slightly chilly. However, I live in England….. even the sun wears a scarf and gloves!!

I have to admit, I have been known in the past to lose my temper at things like this but I actually found it quite amusing UNTIL on Wednesday to celebrate the delivery of my mail I jumped in my car to go to the shop. As I was driving round the corner I saw my Postman. No wait TWO POSTMEN!!!  TWO POSTMAN delivering our mail. One was pushing the trolley and the other was delivering the letters!! REALLY? When did this become a job that needed back up? I’d like to have been at that Royal Mail meeting when someone stood up and said, (presumably with a straight face), “I know we get grief for not delivering on time. Let’s stick postmen in pairs. That will help”.

RIDICULOUS!! When I was a paperboy I delivered huge bags of newspapers 5 times my body weight, on my shoulder for £3:50. Your team clearly now need to work as a team to deliver what can only be described as a bag the size of a medium Labrador…… AND IT’S ON WHEELS!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s Valentine’s Day today. I ordered a lovely romantic surprise for my partner which should have arrived yesterday. It slightly ruins the sparkle if she receives it for her birthday in June! Thanks Royal Mail, at least you’re consistent.

Anyway, I hope you find this letter constructive and useful. I look forward to your response.

Kind Regards

James Bromley

Ps. I have emailed this letter to you…. if I rely on your service, by the time you receive it robots will be delivering the mail and there probably won’t be a problem to resolve!