March 27th 2013:
Dear ‘One Born Every Minute,
Firstly, I want to be clear. I know alot of people watch your programme. Miracle of childbirth, amazing midwives, beautiful kids blah blah blah. Personally, witnessing childbirth first hand is singley the scariest and craziest thing ive ever seen and I don’t understand anyone who wants to watch it again and again, happening to a stranger in HD ffs. However, some peopleΒ do, fine. My partner is one of them therefore, by default, so am I. Up until now, the only shining light of having to sit through blood, screaming and, lets be honest, generally horrible inbred people giving birth, is the fact that there’s ALWAYS happy endings. Even Im a sucker for a cute baby battling back from the brink. Its a feel good moment…. So, can you explain to me what the hell tonights programme was about? There i was munching on my crisps chuckling about the hideous looking woman with her legs in stirrups when its announced the baby didnt make it????? No one wants to see or hear that. Your programme is described as ‘reality entertainment’…. bollocks. I have now banned your show from our house and will now return to the real world of Champions League football in a vain attempt to exclude the ear shrieking words ‘ITS BREACHED’ from my memory. Please refrain from repeating your programme to any living person again.
Kind (yet permanantly scarred) Regards
James Bromley